If you wait until you’re in bed together, naked and thrusting, one of you is more than likely to get a surprise. At the very least that should probably be whether you prefer to be top or bottom, and what your opinion is when it comes to safe-sex. So talk to your partners about what you’re expecting or hoping for.
Talk about anal sexĪnal sex is a team sport, of at least two. After it’s happened a few times you’ll see that it really isn’t such a big deal. Try getting darker sheets, and always keep baby wipes to hand to wipe off any unwanted mess.Īt the end of the day, it doesn’t really f**king matter – we’re all animals, so just laugh it off. If you’re planning on a long anal session, you could take an Immodium which should further minimise risk.Įven with all this planning, there’s always the risk of a bit of mess. Basically, giving yourself an enema, with water from the shower hose (being very careful the water temperature and water pressure is constant), or from a ‘bulb douche’ which you fill with water then squirt up your arse. Douche is French for “shower” – so now you know (Mike Schmid)īut then I discovered douching. Once was on a beach in the dark with nothing to wipe ourselves with other than sand – OK, too much info. When I was in my teens, I had a few messy experiences that knocked my confidence. Although some guys don’t mind this, it can be a complete boner-killer and passion-destroyer. This is stating the obvious, but anal sex can be messy. If you’re nervous about getting f**ked, buy a dildo – then you’re in control. Finger yourself in the shower, find out what feels good for you and get used to the sensation of having something in your ass.
It’s your body, it’s your butt, it’s your prostate – that’s the gland full of nerve endings that makes anal sex feel good. I wish I knew what I know now, when I was younger. When I was younger (I’m still in my very very late 20s, or very early 30s before you ask), I had some really painful experiences as a bottom, and some scarily messy experiences as a top.ĭuring gay sex, whether you’re top, bottom, versatile or have no idea (we’ll cover this another time), planning, practice, preparation and communication are all vital when taking it up the rear. It wasn’t until my mid-20s that I got truly comfortable with anal.
However, there is more to it and gay men (women too) need to understand how to have anal sex. These are the best sex positions you can try with a partner - or two.If having anal sex was as easy as it appears in gay porn, I’d probably do it every day. Use them as you please, whether you do a month-long challenge or just want a database of sex positions to have on hand. So, here are 31 sex positions - thirty freaking one. “Many people find there are several positions that become their go-tos, and they leave others on the table - that's OK! But it's great to try a variety because that's how you discover which suits you and your partner/s best.” “Don't think you have to try them all on one date (unless you're with someone who is as eager to do that as you might be),” they add. “Trying different positions implies a sense of curiosity and comfort in a sexual relationship, and some let you feel things differently,” Carol Queen, Ph.D., sex educator and staff sexologist at Good Vibrations, tells Bustle. How do you keep the spark alive? Part of it involves keeping things interesting in your sex life - and one of the easiest ways to do that is by trying new locations and new positions. When you need something that your partner doesn’t need, it's difficult to understand why they don't need it.” "Even if only one partner is in that sex rut, it's going to affect the relationship sexually. “A relationship is like a bicycle - when one of the wheels is flat, it will still go, but not well," Eric Marlowe Garrison, sex and relationship counselor and author of Mastering Multiple Position Sex, tells Bustle. If you or your partner start to feel bored, it can affect your bond. Keeping your sex life exciting can be tough, but it's important to make sure you're happy with that area of your relationship. Knowing exactly how to get yourself off is great, but throwing down in the same spooning-to-doggy routine every time you do the dirty can get repetitive. Maybe your brain isn’t a catalogue of 900 different sex position names with instructions on how to do them, but you generally know what works for you both and what to expect. If you’ve been with your partner for a while, there’s a good chance you’ve developed something of a routine when it comes to sex.